Bitter sun.

"I did something yesterday. I did a drug I hadn't done before. I did a drug and... Goddamn, these feelings. I had all these feelings. Of being watched by someone who didn't really care what I did but would love me anyways. I wouldn't know what to do with those feelings, normally. I just giggled and stared at my ceiling and... and felt them. That... It was nice.

"AndIthinkthat'swhyyouandotherpeoplehaveagod. It's to have these feelings that you could have if a little bit of powder went up your nose."

My words tripped over each other and I was breathless. She didn't say anything, just smiled a funny sort of smile and passed me a lit cigarette.

The rest of the night was silent. We watched the stars and our breath fogging in the air and each other and we kissed. I explored the small world of her mouth with my tongue, and the soft curves of her body with my hands.

I think she still loves me.